Deeper Connection is worth the Risk

Earlier this week, I found myself in conversation with a few other men. It was open, caring, and supportive. What made this conversation remarkable was the depth of vulnerability and honesty. We touched on topics that in any other context would be embarrassing, humiliating even. It was a profound, touching conversation available among men who truly cared for each other. It’s available to each of us, but only if we are willing to take the risk.

I’ve stopped counting the number of times I’ve played it safe in my PGG and minimized my feelings when it was my turn to share. In those times, I’ve stopped trusting in myself and the others in my PGG to hold my feelings. I shortchanged the essence of being in a circle of men – to be seen and held in their hearts. To be supported like nowhere else in the world. In those times, I stopped asking for what I needed, and equally important, I stopped giving fully of myself to my most intimate friends. This week it took another man to once again show me the way. After all this time in Victories, after all the sharing circles, I still struggle to trust the process and drop into my deepest vulnerability.

When I have the courage to truly share, no topic is off limits, and no shame can censor me. My reward is the total acceptance and love of those in the room. The gifts I’ve received over the years is a debt that I can hardly repay, but I must try. I owe it to other open-hearted men to help them find their vulnerability – through empathy and compassion- so they can also benefit as I have. This is truly the gift of vulnerability.

Our ask this week: What’s keeping you from your deep vulnerability? What do you need to do to feel safe enough to risk it all? How can you demonstrate to others that their vulnerability is safe with you? Each of us needs to set the example and not wait for someone else to do it.